“The Healing Hangover: Why Feeling Better Feels... Worse (at First)”

So you finally started doing the work.

You showed up to therapy. You started setting boundaries. You even said “no” without adding 42 excuses and a nervous laugh. And yet... you feel weird. Maybe even worse than before.

Congratulations. You might be having a healing hangover.

😵‍💫 Wait—Why Does Healing Feel So Uncomfortable?
Here’s the deal: growth is weird. You’re stepping out of old patterns and into new ones, and that shift? It’s disorienting. Think of it like switching from flip-flops to real shoes. They might be better for your posture, but dang, do they feel awkward at first.

When you’ve spent years people-pleasing, stuffing emotions, or avoiding hard truths, doing the opposite feels like rebellion. Even if it’s healthy.

🔄 Healing Is Not Linear, It’s... a Spiral?
Yep. You’ll circle back to old stuff. You’ll have great days followed by random mental tailspins. That doesn’t mean therapy isn’t working—it means it is.

You’re reprocessing, rewiring, and re-learning. And that can come with:

Random bursts of sadness
Emotional fatigue (you might cry during car commercials, it’s fine)
Questioning everything you thought you knew
The urge to text your ex, your old boss, or your 7th grade frenemy (don’t)
🛑 Common Healing Myths (That Need to Be Cancelled)
❌ “If I still get triggered, I must not be healing.”
➡ Nope. Triggers don’t disappear overnight. You’re building resilience, not invincibility.

❌ “Good therapy makes you feel good.”
➡ Not always. Sometimes good therapy makes you feel seen, called out, and slightly annoyed. Growth isn't always comfy.

❌ “I should be further along by now.”
➡ There is no “should” in healing. You're on your own weird, brave, beautiful timeline.

💡 Dr. A’s Tips for Surviving the Healing Hangover:
1. Normalize the Ugh.
Say it out loud: “This is part of the process.” Seriously. Say it. It helps your brain reframe the discomfort as progress, not failure.

2. Track the Wins
Keep a note in your phone of small shifts:

“Didn’t spiral after that text.”
“Said what I actually meant.”
“Cried and didn’t apologize for it.”
These moments matter. They’re the receipts of your healing.

3. Rest Like It’s Medicine
Emotional growth takes a lot of energy. Rest isn't lazy—it’s neurological maintenance.

4. Don’t Ghost Your Therapist
That impulse to cancel your next session? That’s resistance. And resistance is just fear in high heels. Show up anyway. We’ll talk it out.